An island that once was a nuclear testing ground is being investigated by a team of biologists. Leading the group is none other than George Eastman, he plays Dr. Lemoir. Dr. Lemoir and his colleagues, two sexy ladies and a married couple need a ride to this island and so they hire,
Captain O'Day (Mark "Ball Warts" Shannon).
Before setting sail they discuss how sea life in the area is growing abnormally large and that the locals believe a murderous monster inhabits the island.
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| "Hmmm, did I leave the iron on?" |
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| Captain Jack Off will take you to that special island. |
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| "You'll need a good A200 Shampoo to get rid of these!" |
The story of the monster is true. He's a mutated survivor from the atomic activity. Any man who crosses his path will be killed. Any women who crosses his path will get fucked to death, literally. He'll rape you and because his sperm is highly radioactive after he finishes, "you're finished"!
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| Atomic Load |
The monster becomes smitten for the captain's main squeeze, the beautiful biologist Annie(Lucia Ramirez).
He takes her to his cave of love, grunts a lot, and even gives her flowers. So Romantic! After the monster leaves to resume more mayhem, Annie finds a notebook. She gets the 411 on who this freak really is. So lets Meet the Monster.
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| "This diary sucks!" |
MR. RADIOACTIVE PENIS MONSTER INFO
1. HIS NAME IS ANTOINE DEMADURO
2. HE'S BEEN THERE SINCE THE FIRST EXPLOSION
3. MOVED INTO THE CAVE WITH HIS WIFE AND
CHILD ON A MONDAY, SEPT. 19TH 1958
(His wife and child are now dead and he keeps
their skulls as a memorial)
So now it's "Beauty and the Beast." The captain tracks them down and shoots a spear into the beast's chest. Wounded, he staggers toward cappy about to take him out also. Annie calls out the monsters real name distracts him and gives the two lovers enough time to escape while the atomic menace pushes up the daisies.
This review is only one take on the film. The other would be "a bunch of people fucking on the beach."
Even though the film is pretty much garbage, it's special to me. It's one of the first of four VHS titles I bought from Threat Theater International's catalogue.The version I received was a poor print with no subtitles.
However the music left a huge impression on me and composer Nico Fidenco is one of my favorites. His scores are always fantastic.
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| "The Tide's coming in baby!" |
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| "A really big coconut fell on my head!" |
The title of this film alone is legendary and seeing it today cleaned up with subtitles made for a pretty good time.
5/10 On the CULT-O-METER
If your not prude, give it a shot
Theater of Guts
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